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• (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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• (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth

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