If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
