I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
