My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
