Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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