So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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