i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
