ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
