I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
