I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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