i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
