Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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