Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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