dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
