He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
