oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
