So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
