I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
