If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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