I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
