I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
