what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
