He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
