Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize