When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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