You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
