i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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