I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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