wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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