After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
