Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
