Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
