Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
