you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
