why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
