So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
