I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
