Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
