I'm lost and stupid without you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
