Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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