that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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