I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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