i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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