addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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