The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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