I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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