id be glad to
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
