Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
