Don't make out with my wife yet
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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