Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The power of my boobs compel you
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
