I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I could fuck to npr.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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