i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
