honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
