My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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