If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
