I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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