mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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